The entertainment industry is undoubtedly an exciting space for artists, but it comes with its own set of challenges, particularly concerning boundaries and the risk of sexualization. Let's talk about the importance of establishing and maintaining boundaries, how to navigate uncomfortable situations, and ways to protect yourself and your body.
Setting Boundaries:
Clearly Define Your Limits: Establish clear boundaries on what you will and will not allow regarding your personal space, your body, acceptable language, and the types of interactions you are comfortable with in a professional setting if the topic arises.
Prioritize Your Values: Prioritize your values, safety and integrity above all else. Upholding a strong sense of self-worth and dignity will guide your decisions and actions in the industry. Whatever choices you make, be sure that choice is yours. It is ok to do what you are ok with, but it is not ok if you don't feel you have a voice to say no. Surround yourself with individuals and collaborators who share and respect these values. Don’t ever do anything you don’t want to do. You always have a choice.
Communicate Boundaries: If situations arise, don’t hesitate to confidently communicate your boundaries to those you work with. If they care about you, they will listen, respect and protect you. If you are unsure how to do this, ask a someone you trust for advice. Clearly articulating your feelings when needed is essential and it shows that you are aware of potential predators and their tactics, allowing you to protect your peace.
Navigating Uncomfortable Situations:
If you're in the entertainment world, you or someone you know may have encountered uncomfortable situations—those that didn’t sit right or that you want to avoid. Being mindful and aware is the first step. There may be times when you feel pressured to partake in things that don't feel right to you. When that happens, if necessary, and you feel you need to leave excuse yourself to the bathroom to create an exit strategy or just get the hell of of dodge! Text someone you trust and ask for help if needed; if things get really bad, don’t hesitate to call the authorities. Personally, I’ve faced situations where someone dangled an opportunity in front of me only if I did something I didn’t want to do. I chose not to go along with it. Even if I had, there’s no guarantee of a positive outcome, and I would have to live with that choice. The odds are, you won’t be happy with the result.
Trust Your Instincts: Your gut is always right. Listen to your instincts. If a situation feels uncomfortable, that is your body telling you to protect yourself and remain aware. It's important to prioritize your well-being over any potential opportunities. Your safety and comfort should always be your top priority. If you have a bad feeling about someone, trust in that. For example, if you have a meeting with that person set up and you’re uncertain about their intentions, consider bringing someone with you who has your best interests at heart.If they act offended or don't agree to that, it may indicate that their intentions may not be pure. They should want you to feel comfortable, as trust is essential in any relationship.
Establish Exit Strategies: Before entering unfamiliar situations, have exit strategies in place. Tell someone where you are going, the address, send someone your location, have a safe word in place that you can use on a phone call if needed. Know how to remove yourself from uncomfortable environments—whether gracefully or not! When leaving a venue, stay aware and watch your surroundings.
Protecting Yourself: Document Incidents. If you experience uncomfortable or inappropriate behavior, document the details. This may include dates, times, locations, screenshots, video and descriptions of the incidents. Write it down if you don't want to go to authorities. Tell someone you trust. This documentation can be crucial if you need to address the issue formally.
Speak Up: Sometimes, all you need to do is speak your truth. Others may not be aware of how their actions are affecting you. Miscommunications happen, but it’s important to know the difference between a misunderstanding and a disrespect of your boundaries. If you feel comfortable and safe doing so, address the issue directly with the person involved. Clearly communicate that their behavior is inappropriate and request that it stops. Sometimes, a direct conversation can resolve the situation. And no, do not let them make you feel “crazy.” Sometimes people try to gaslight. Try to stay present, honest and communicate how you feel if you can and it is safe to. You can always send an email, text or speak on the phone!
In any situation you are unsure of, don't hesitate to seek support from trusted friends, mentors, or colleagues. Sharing your experiences with someone you trust can provide emotional support and guidance on how to address the situation.
Additional safety tips for social situations, like events or parties, where drinks are involved:
1. Watch Your Drink:
Always keep an eye on your drink and never leave it unattended. If you have to step away, consider finishing your drink, taking it with you or getting a new one upon your return.
2. Cover Your Drink:
Use a drink cover or keep a hand over your drink when you're not actively drinking. This adds a layer of protection against unwanted substances being added.
3. Accept Drinks from Trusted Sources Only:
If someone offers to buy you a drink, accompany them to the bar and watch it being made.
4. Stay Sober or Limit Alcohol:
Be mindful of your alcohol intake. Staying sober allows you to remain aware of your surroundings and make safer decisions.
5. Buddy System:
Stick with friends and look out for one another. If someone leaves the group, check in with them to ensure they’re safe.
Establishing and maintaining boundaries in any industry is crucial for personal well-being and professional success. Navigating uncomfortable situations requires a combination of self-awareness, assertiveness, and support. By prioritizing your values and integrity, you can build a career that not only thrives creatively but also fosters a safe and respectful space for all involved. Remember, advocating for yourself and setting clear boundaries contributes to a healthier and more inclusive music industry for everyone.
If you need help or want to talk to someone confidentially, seek professional support from a trusted therapist, counselor, doctor etc.. You can also reach out to your local police department for advice regarding a situation.